larrisasedition

I dont want to be rude but, here latly every one keeps telling me of the AWSOME stuff they are getting. Well how bout this for a change, please dont rub it in my face off all the new things are you are getting. Maybe later. but for now please, god please, dont rub it in my face. I'm poor if you didnt relize and i dont get all these new things. and when i do you dont want to hear about it. so lets make it fare. no one brag about all the new stuff. I really dont want to hear it. and i know what your going to say.' well you should be happy for us! you should like all the new things we get' well looky here buddy. if you got one or 2 nice things every once and a while, then yes maybe. But when its fucking everyday. fuck no. as i said i dont mean to be rude, but i dont like it when people have to show me up, for the thing is, yall will always show me up because you will always be better then me. everyone will always be better then me

I'm sitting up here at the office while stephen is handing out cards to try and get some stuff around here, so we this shop can work out. There seems like alot of shit is going on right now. Travis and kat are loseing the house. Stephens shop isnt doing to good right now. Me and Travis just got into about working. He tells me that i woldnt enjoy working. Well here is how I would feel. I would LOVE to work 40 hours a week. I would love somewhere to actually call my Job. But i cant. I get disablity. I only make $600 a month. Why not get off of it you ask? well I have insurace. It covers all of my meds and medical bill, what ever they may be. I absolutly HATE sitting on my ass everyday. I'm almost 18 years old. If I keep doing this people are going to call me a bum for the rest of my life. And that is the last thing that i want. I want to have a family and be able to provide for them, and give them what they want. but fuck with only $600 I wouldnt even be able to have a family. I want to fucking work. no body seems to understand that. And when i try to help people, its not good enough. thats the ways its always been. the only thing i can seemt o help with is getting people back together. I always lend a sholder to cry on. I'm always here to listen to anyone that has a problem, thats how its always been. but I want to say, When is it going to be my turn? Why cant i have a friend to cry on thier sholder when I need it. All i have is my bed. Its like when I have a problem or when I'm feeling down, its like no one wants to hear it. yeah im bossy. yeah im a bitch. But I'll be god damned. Ive been the best friend i can be to people, yet they say i talk be hind thier backs, and they make up shit just because they have a bad day. Well i dont talk shit, I cheerish the freinds that i have, because i dont have hardly any at all. I fucked up with angela and i regret that. She was the only person that i could go to when i had a problem. I loved her so much and I fucked that up. Thats why i dotn want to fuck another friend ship up. I just wish someone would take the time out of their day to ask me how im doing or to just sit with me. /Sigh/ I dunno. We are all humans I guess. I'm tired of typing, and i dont even know if this post makes since. This is just how it came out. i'll update later.